Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
"Step one "
I am surrounded by four hot walls
They burn with the fire of love
Every twist inflicts pain
There are no doors to easily walk out
And even if there were, wouldn't they too be in uniform, resonating with the scorching heat of love?
To take the risk of walking out of the door will result in eternal scarring or loss of my hands
There is an opening 220 miles above glass bottom
I begin to believe there is no way out
This must be where I will stay for an eternity
I sit, I wait, I ponder
I sit in confusion
I wait for an answer to all the issues surrounding me in these walls
I wait for the one who left me here
or is it his footsteps I hear outside of these walls through the long lonely nights?
I ponder, of what life would be if I never fell in in the first place, on how to find a way out,to know if it will be worth it to risk disfiguration for a speedy escape
I get a break
After months of captivity I am finally strong enough to sleep through the night
I awake one morning to find a level above me with a ladder leading to an opening in the center of the floor
I climb
I climb
I climb
I reach the level in exhaustion and realize the only way to remain on this level is to stand an inch from a flaming wall
Leaving me with a choice between "safe,give up, sorry" and "suffer,endure,progress"
Upon stepping on the side and feeling the heat seep through my pores I see a message raise through the opening
It reads: Self love to love, confidence, belief , faith, determination, optimism, take a chance
These are all the products of my after hour meditation sessions
Blood rushes through my veins and I begin to speak out loud
"My faith in God will forever remain stable"
And then I begin to shout:
"I love myself!
I love the world!
I am determined to achieve my ultimate goal
I shall never give up despite unfortunate circumstances
The future always has good to bring
And when the opportunity is present I will take a chance
I shall forever live outside of the shadows!"
The ladder disappears and the opening shuts.
Green begins to sprout
I close my eyes to control the illusion and assume this must be from heat exhaustion
So suddenly the heat disappears and I feel a cool breeze on my neck
I open my eyes to a sight of beautiful flowers, a pond and a tree tall enough to climb
There is pen and paper under the shade of its branches
All seems so serene
I am safe. Safe and sound in the middle of the level, drenched in sweat but the repugnant smell of African marigolds reminds me that I am safe
I sit and think to myself
This must be it
This must be the way out
And this is just "Step one"
They burn with the fire of love
Every twist inflicts pain
There are no doors to easily walk out
And even if there were, wouldn't they too be in uniform, resonating with the scorching heat of love?
To take the risk of walking out of the door will result in eternal scarring or loss of my hands
There is an opening 220 miles above glass bottom
I begin to believe there is no way out
This must be where I will stay for an eternity
I sit, I wait, I ponder
I sit in confusion
I wait for an answer to all the issues surrounding me in these walls
I wait for the one who left me here
or is it his footsteps I hear outside of these walls through the long lonely nights?
I ponder, of what life would be if I never fell in in the first place, on how to find a way out,to know if it will be worth it to risk disfiguration for a speedy escape
I get a break
After months of captivity I am finally strong enough to sleep through the night
I awake one morning to find a level above me with a ladder leading to an opening in the center of the floor
I climb
I climb
I climb
I reach the level in exhaustion and realize the only way to remain on this level is to stand an inch from a flaming wall
Leaving me with a choice between "safe,give up, sorry" and "suffer,endure,progress"
Upon stepping on the side and feeling the heat seep through my pores I see a message raise through the opening
It reads: Self love to love, confidence, belief , faith, determination, optimism, take a chance
These are all the products of my after hour meditation sessions
Blood rushes through my veins and I begin to speak out loud
"My faith in God will forever remain stable"
And then I begin to shout:
"I love myself!
I love the world!
I am determined to achieve my ultimate goal
I shall never give up despite unfortunate circumstances
The future always has good to bring
And when the opportunity is present I will take a chance
I shall forever live outside of the shadows!"
The ladder disappears and the opening shuts.
Green begins to sprout
I close my eyes to control the illusion and assume this must be from heat exhaustion
So suddenly the heat disappears and I feel a cool breeze on my neck
I open my eyes to a sight of beautiful flowers, a pond and a tree tall enough to climb
There is pen and paper under the shade of its branches
All seems so serene
I am safe. Safe and sound in the middle of the level, drenched in sweat but the repugnant smell of African marigolds reminds me that I am safe
I sit and think to myself
This must be it
This must be the way out
And this is just "Step one"
Saturday, August 14, 2010
For a friend
Some may live to die but I'm living to keep alive.Life is in my immortal soul ;never shall the fire of my inner being be controlled. Of course the time will come when my current body will no longer be but in lieu of the norm my tombstone will say I lived life happy and free.
Why sulk over what cannot be controlled ?
You are better off searching for the answers to the unanswerable.
Live, learn, love and light, they say, death, denial, detest and darkness they bring. Blame. Who is to blame?
Little Susie isn't doing so well, she believes she and the devil are in route. She claims hand in hand they spread unhappiness through the land.
"Susie you can't give up now the lines of knowledge are bendable without a doubt.
Wipe off your black makeup, add some color to your clothes.
The cast over shall be no more. Your spot in the maze awaits you in light.
Go on, enter, embrace your might.
The world you are from is full of beatings from the rain, here through these turns at the least you are entertained.
You will cry, give up, scream and shout but you will laugh, love, live and beyond doubt. As you can see the trip isn't all coffee and cake but it will be worth every tear ad every smile on your face.
So relax,think fast let the decisions run slow.
It is your turn Susie. I now challenge you to go."
"But lady I don't know what to do"
...."Susie my darling the power of life is in you".
Why sulk over what cannot be controlled ?
You are better off searching for the answers to the unanswerable.
Live, learn, love and light, they say, death, denial, detest and darkness they bring. Blame. Who is to blame?
Little Susie isn't doing so well, she believes she and the devil are in route. She claims hand in hand they spread unhappiness through the land.
"Susie you can't give up now the lines of knowledge are bendable without a doubt.
Wipe off your black makeup, add some color to your clothes.
The cast over shall be no more. Your spot in the maze awaits you in light.
Go on, enter, embrace your might.
The world you are from is full of beatings from the rain, here through these turns at the least you are entertained.
You will cry, give up, scream and shout but you will laugh, love, live and beyond doubt. As you can see the trip isn't all coffee and cake but it will be worth every tear ad every smile on your face.
So relax,think fast let the decisions run slow.
It is your turn Susie. I now challenge you to go."
"But lady I don't know what to do"
...."Susie my darling the power of life is in you".
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Everything Ends
At times I fall under subjection to pessimism. I wish I didn't but it keeps me going. Love hurts.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Cup 1/4 full.
I know I have changed but it's not enough. My cup is only 1/4 full. I have a long way to go.
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