Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Can't Conform

I know in this world they like to tell us to avoid usage of the word can't. In this case it perfectly describes how I feel so I will use it. I can't conform! I tried and I died. Yes, I died and not just a little but a lot on the inside. I lost everything I gained while working towards my goal of being content with my true self and here I am starting all over again. I will like to commend myself for making it out of the storm. To be honest while spinning through it there were too many times I thought I wouldn't be revived and I just wanted to give up and remain in my slumped state forever. After months of battle I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't made to be unhappy or foolishly give up. My life was made for learning, free expression, soul searching (this falls under learning..doesn't it?) and exploring all of the other beauties of life. I wasn't made to settle or remain stationary. The most important thing is doing what I love and I love so many things it's hard for me to thrive in this society. When I look at a picture of life I feel people are encouraged to focus on a a specific subject they are wholly passionate about and when it comes to something on the opposite end of the spectrum they must go out of their way and sacrifice many things just to pursue those interests. I am not saying I have a problem with adding extra umph into my drive but I am saying why would it be so difficult to major in Chemistry,Environmental Science, Economics,International Studies and another major I am interested in. Why are Business, Arts and Sciences and Engineering schools separated? Why can't we take classes in all departments freely? When do we get the chance to talk to each and share ideas from our majors? We are separated by so many little things and we don't even realize how huge of an impact it has on our mental horizons. I can only be happy being myself and not trying to fit a mold that will leave everyone around me comfortable. The only choice they have at this point is to accept me for who I am and if they can't, that is very negative on their part and will only affect their growth. With that being said, here I come :).

Friday, December 25, 2009

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

So I find myself getting really interested in self-help books. I am sure I can come to similar conclusions on my own but sometimes we like a little push and I feel the books can do just that. Growth is in knowledge and the more I read the more knowledge I will acquire to progress in life so I don't mind taking up on this new liking. I have also come to realize that a certain degree of selfishness is necessary in order to survive. Actually let me not call it selfishness, I would say being self centered to a certain extent can be very beneficial in your growth. I find myself always wanting to help others and caring more about others than I do about myself but I have to remember that I can't help people unless I can help myself. I am not perfect and the only thing I can possibly do is assist a person on their journey from their level to mine...and then who I am to judge and appoint levels? Also, living by levels definitely serves as a limit. This style of life would discourage us from helping others we believe are at a higher level than we are because we would only be bringing them down. The only places we would have the ability to drift between are below and on our levels. That hardly leaves any room for growth. So I will like to stick to a theory supporting"we are all equal and we can all learn from each other regardless of differing view points". We must also learn to bear patience and tolerance for anything that does not vibe with our nature, this is necessary in order to sanely survive ...in this life of survival of the fittest this will definitely leave you at the top of the bunch. See you and your kids in the next generation ;). Cultural Relativism for the win!